Altered States
by Lokaia
Summary: Zutara. 51 sentences per chapter.
1. His Story

Note: This has absolutely nothing to do with The First Cut - it's a personal project that came about through some chatting and plotting with lj user"amurderofcrows" . To be perfectly honest, I'm doing it because I have an hour before my next class and nothing to do. But there will be several sets, promise!

lj-cut text"Zuko's Story" 

1. Motion

Though it was often offered, Zuko rarely drank - there was something about the way the world twisted and tilted that he abhorred - and even though it was Mid-Autumn festival and nearly the entire city of Ba Sing Sei was well on its way to a happy hangover in the morning, the moon was high in the sky before Iroh was able to introduce his nephew to the enticing sweetness of Earth Kingdom wine.

2. Cool

He looks up and watches the stars dance lazily in the sky; he looks down and watches fireflies alight from their perches on blades of grass and go spinning in front of his eyes; he stumbles into a pavilion and there are soft hands to catch him, even if the body before him wobbles tellingly back to her seat in much the way he does.

3. Young

He doesn't think about it much - she is willing and, near as he can tell in the light and the haze in his head, very lovely - and he doubts she does either: they don't even exchange names before robes are being tugged and Zuko is introduced to a world he should have known at fourteen, in a golden seraglio instead of a wooden pavilion.

4. Last

He thinks he apologized, but she was laughing too hard for either of them to tell - he is young and inexperienced, neither of them are particularly sober, but he traps her now-sticky hands to the floor and silences her giggles with lips and tongue, determined to get a little sticky himself before the night is over.

5. Wrong

He was drunker than he thought: in the morning light it is obvious that her skin is not the dusky tan of the Earth people, her hair too light to even be some sort of mix - and when she rolls over and blinks at him, covered only by the green robes he was wearing last night, her eyes dart to the blue leather that lies across his lap and Zuko discovers how dark a blush can make a Water Tribe girl's face.

6. Gentle

They are far too awkward and young for this - she keeps trying to speak and coming up with nothing, he doesn't want to speak at all, but when his uncle walks by shouting his name, Zuko presses her down to the floor of the pavilion to hide and stares into startled blue eyes when her whispering lips brush his.

7. One

He doesn't know why she does it and is hesitant to think on it-- still, when dark fingers curl around his arms and her mouth is wet and body soft beneath his, a nagging voice notes that the Avatar and his team rarely have the chance for i true /i companionship, outside each other.

8. Thousand

Many thoughts race through his head - i his uncle is calling, the Avatar will be looking for her, he slept more soundly curled around her than he has since the Fire Empress disappeared /i - but Zuko ignores them all, repaying her in a sudden kiss, feeling her body relax against his, drinking in the taste of a Waterbender, before pushing her away from him and fleeing comfort and uncle both.

9. King

"You were out late last night," his uncle notes, and Zuko grunts in reply; "Blue looks good on you," his uncle adds and Zuko startles at the leather thong still tied to his wrist, blushing fiercely as Iroh laughs.

10. Learn

He's been serving tea long enough now that Zuko doesn't need to spend too much time thinking on it - boil the water, steep the leaves, serve the cups on saucers, and his mind has plenty of time to wander back to vague memories of brown and blue.

11. Blur

It happens entirely too fast: a terrible roar that vibrates all the way from the upper level to their tiny tea shop; a great, flying beast up high in the air; a whip of a braid, dark against the clouds, and when on-lookers blame the tea pot Zuko drops on astonishment, they are only half right.

12. Wait

Iroh knows him far too well - two days after a broken tea pot is replaced, his nephew unfolds a story of wine, Fire, and Water.

13. Change

They serve tea and business only improves; more refugees pour in and they are the only ones to notice the shift from Earth Kingdom peasants to Fire Nation soldiers.

14. Command

The first day a refugee drops his tea cup to salute Iroh is their last day in Ba Sing Sei.

15. Hold

They travel; news of the Avatar becomes more frequent; they hear of marching troops on both sides and Zuko fingers blue leather in his pocket, thinking of the last night he slept well and comforted.

16. Need

Zuko agrees - Yes, she i is /i a nice girl, Uncle - but does nothing; he met a nice girl in Ba Sing Sei who gave him his first kiss, but he misses the drunken satisfaction of the girl who gave him his first-- other things.

17. Vision

In this new town they've taken residence in, bonfires light up the river every night (some month-long festival that worships some peasant god or another) - Zuko watches from the roof occasionally, but the flames he sees shine gold, alight before a lord's knot.

18. Attention

In some matters, Zuko was incredibly observant - he could not don the mask of the Blue Spirit otherwise - but he is not omniscient; still, weeks before news reaches them, he wakes in the middle of the night, sweat-soaked and breathless, sure he's felt the final breath of his nation's hundred year reign.

19. Soul

A little part of both Firebenders dies when they receive the message: Iroh lost his desire to rule with the death of his son, Zuko lost the desire to go home when gaining his father's respect became impossible.

20. Picture

A Water Tribe scholar meets them as soon as they step off the boat, and Zuko is surprised to be the only one scowling - Sokka leads them through the city with Kyoshi warriors and Fire Nation guards, talking avidly with Iroh while Zuko looks on a home he barely remembers.

21. Fool

The question immediately puts the peasant, the _scholar_, on the defensive, and Zuko looks away even before Sokka answers, a scowl and a growl of, "She isn't i _here /i _."

22. Mad

"It was stupid - of course she wouldn't stay with her precious i _Avatar /i _ gone."

23. Child

Sokka is startled but Zuko isn't when Iroh's first action as Fire Lord is to hold a joint funeral for both Ozai and the Avatar - one in honor of his younger brother, the other in honor of a boy who died too young, too soon.

24. Now

Iroh stands in the Fire Lord's chambers, chambers Zuko never saw lest his father was away - he gets his first taste of pity from the giver's perspective, watching Iroh's face as he looks over Ozai's sparse belongings.

25. Shadow

It is days before Zuko puts on the crown offered to him - it has been years since he was a crown prince of the Fire Nation, and never again will he be anything but the 'honorary' heir of the Fire Lord.

26. Goodbye

The Kyoshi warriors leave first; Sokka lingers for a few days, making plans to meet Fire scholars at a later date; Zuko overhears a conversation between peasant and Fire Lord, Iroh questioning the conditions of the South; Sokka closes the conversation with a single, quiet comment; "Better than ever - we're being left alone."

27. Hide

Zuko stands on the balcony that connects to his bedroom, tilting his face to the sun - after a meeting that took up the entire morning on increasing the output of lotus tiles to the surrounding nations, it is still a blessing to be able to stand in full view of his people, not oceans away behind an apron and a wall.

28. Fortune

They never say it outloud, but neither uncle nor brother shed a tear at the funeral of Princess Azula - both are too concerned with the method she was delivered, her body covered head to toe in ice.

29. Safe

Not everyone is pleased - some say the Dragon of the West has lost his spark by pulling troops back, by abandoning a hundred-year-war to unite the world beneath the Fire Nation's flag - Zuko watches his uncle stand before the window that faces the city - fearless, or just beyond fear?

30. Ghost

Lu Ten's birthday comes and goes: Iroh disappears for the day while Zuko stays in the palace, fingering a crown he was never meant to wear.

31. Book

Iroh leaves mounds of papers on his writing desk - Zuko flips through the first one before throwing them all away; neither the current, nor the last Fire Lord ever had a queen and he refuses to read over i applications /i for his heart.

32. Eye

His vision is fading; healers do all they can for it, but Zuko is not optimistic - he continues his training as he always did, only now he does it blindfolded.

33. Never

Sokka returns on and off for various reasons - he and the crown prince speak civilly, even enjoy the other's presence - but while Sokka stays in the palace during his visits, Zuko is not invited to the South and does not ever ask to be.

34. Sing

"Uncle, we are not on the ship anymore and music nights--" "--will be just as much good for the servants as they were for the sailors, Prince Zuko."

35. Sudden

Walking the halls of the palace, Zuko is surprised to see two small children (sons of noblemen, no doubt) racing toward him - but it is Iroh who is stunned later, when the Commissioner's boys are seen tearing through the garden with the crown prince laughing close behind.

36. Stop

"Just look at the girl, Zuko, what could it h--" "Uncle, i please /i ."

37. Time

Sokka is back - "Jeez, you need a haircut" - and Zuko is surprised - "And you're in dire need of a shave - is that a porcugopher on your chin?" - they grin and smirk and sometimes even laugh, but there is a wall there that the Tribesman has constructed, and no amount of years in their companionship will allow Zuko past it.

38. Wash

They are in the library: Sokka is looking through scrolls on mechanics, Zuko is researching political movements - he mentions, 'offhand,' that Sokka's family is as welcome as he is in the Fire Nation and tries to hide his confusion when the Tribesman's reaction is sad eyes and a quiet response of, "Maybe."

39. Torn

"Zuko, it was four years ago - either write to the Waterbender yourself or please start paying attention to the ladies _here_!"

40. History

He has never answered well to challenges - the slightest insult could result in Agni Kai - so when his uncle gives him the ultimatum, Zuko puts his pride over his heart: sure, Iroh is stunned by his nephew's sudden decision, but now he has a long boat ride to look forward to and weeks of worrying before they reach the Southern Tribe.

41. Power

"Knock it off, Jee," Zuko says and shares the lieutenant's smirk - at fourteen he could never get the man to salute him, and at twenty he can't get him to _stop_.

42. Bother

The men confer - most of them were on the prince's first ship and they regale the new sailors with their stories; Music Night is organized without Zuko's permission and is done down in the boiler room to avoid detection.

43. God

They are caught - "I _do_ have a vent in my room, just like the rest of you" - and the sailors look up at the prince where he stands at the top of the stairs, unsure; he is power and sternness, still in his armor with his hands on his hips and scowling at them all - but when he cracks a smirk and informs them the acoustics are far more favorable on deck, some follow him upstairs with laughter - the others with prayers of thanks for mercy granted.

44. Wall

Zuko is questioned once about the true purpose of the mission - it is Jee who asks, of course, as the man has become a close companion on the voyage, but he is not yet close enough that the prince feels comfortable baring his heart and his foolishness.

45. Naked

He feels awkward on the ship sometimes, though it is only slightly bigger than the one he traveled in for years - standing on the bridge and overlooking the water, Zuko catches the reflection of the empty Pai Sho board behind him and knows exactly what is missing.

46. Drive

"I think we've gone too far - it didn't take nearly this long last time-- in fact, I'm certain we should have started heading East an hour ago and we're still going South, are you su--" "My prince, with all due respect, please, let me do this."

47. Harm

Years ago, he drove his ship _through_ the wall of their village - today, Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation leaves his transportation a mile from their settlement, approaching a new wall of stone (not snow) with only himself and two guards.

48. Precious

There must be water in the stone, he realizes, as a door opens seamlessly from the stone to reveal young Waterbenders; Sokka is not here, but he recognizes the old woman that approaches him, putting his hands together and bowing _to her _- the real shock is when he straightens to find her bowing back.

49. Hunger

The village is so much larger now, but still small by the standards of his people, and children are underfoot _everywhere_ (the future of a people nearly lost) - Kana offers him jerky and he politely declines - he didn't come all this way for the _seal_.

50. Believe

She is as lovely as she ever was with only small differences to mark the passage of time - more curves beneath her parka, less naivete in her eyes, that complex braid traded for a simple style, hair pulled back at the temples with leather; he smiles and assumes that's why she looks so shocked, ignoring the children jumping at her feet, or the one in her arms that tugs on her hair.

(Bonus!) 51. Surprise

There is something all-together satisfying about thoroughly shocking someone else - Zuko is practically grinning as he looks at her, opening his mouth to tell her one of the many lines rehearsed in the past weeks-- but Katara wins when the child in her arms turns to look at him with wide gold eyes, pointing at him with a mittened hand and proclaiming, "Daddy!"


	2. Her Story

1. Motion

Tonight is a whirlwind - there are festivals in the middle ring of Ba Sing Sei and they are given cups of sweet wine; Toph actually pulls Aang over to i dance /i , both of them laughing wildly, Sokka is blinking at a girl who wiggles a fan his way, and Katara watches it all, smirking as her drink disappears.

2. Cool

It is late when she meets Jet - Katara's lost the others in the crowd, bumping into people, and blinks when there are hands on her shoulders to steady her, abruptly frozen when she recognizes his eyes.

3. Young

Three minutes later, they have baffled each other - Jet leaves her, bemused by the crazy girl that thinks she knows him; Katara flees the shell of a boy she once knew in the trees, seeking solace in wine cups when she can't find her friends.

4. Last

She probably shouldn't drink anymore - Katara balances her fifth cup on the railing in the pavilion she sits in, squinting at the shadow that seems to be stumbling toward her on the path.

5. Wrong

Maybe she isn't that drunk - no apparition could have hands that steady, or arms that hold her with such strength.

6. Gentle

He wasn't expecting her to kiss him, she wasn't expecting him to be grinning when she tried - teeth clack painfully together and while she's in the middle of giggling about it, he steals her lips.

7. One

"Agai--?" "Yes- i now /i ."

8. Thousand

Katara sees more stars that night than she has in all her years spent staring at the sky.

9. King

She wakes when he moves and doesn't notice right away (her head is busy exploding with sweet wine), but no one could mistake that scar, or the voice of the old man, calling for 'Li' outside the pavilion.

10. Learn

He is hiding from his uncle, Katara realizes, but it is far too late - she's already responded to the way he presses her down to the floor, and can't take back the brush of her lips against his anymore than she can erase the blush that stains her cheeks.

11. Blur

'Why not?' she thinks, 'What does it matter?' she wonders, and Zuko answers both questions when he kisses her back suddenly-- and flees, leaving her blinking and naked behind.

12. Wait

She wonders what now, what do you do after such a night; She pulls her clothing back together - but a flash of orange and yellow in the sky, followed by angry shouting has her forgetting her free hair and rumpled appearance, or the old man who blinks when she races from the pavilion.

13. Change

Racing through the streets, she hears the roar and steals a bucket of water from a merchant's table; ahead, she can see a growing blue light and runs faster, praying she isn't too late.

14. Command

His voice is deep and strange, as if thousands are speaking through him now - terrified, she braves the wind and grabs his hand, but rock spears erupt from the earth and buildings are destroyed before his eyes return from blue to grey.

15. Hold

"Let him go!" she shouts, and her voice trembles with anger, her eyes on a chained animal that should be free in the skies; "Or I let i _him /i _ go!" she adds and Aang starts to glow at her side.

16. Need

They don't listen right away, but they don't need to - a carefully placed rock-spear by a blind girl breaks the chains and the Dai Lee flee from Appa's ire.

17. Vision

Aang's vision is blurred from tears, Sokka's from getting beaned in the head from a falling brick, Toph's from-- being Toph; Katara isn't sure what blurs her vision as she hangs on tight to Appa's fur and watches Ba Sing Sei's wall grow small... but she can guess.

18. Attention

They can't do this alone - splitting up, Aang and Toph sneak to Omashu to free the king, Sokka hurries to the ferry to gather the Avatar's warriors, and Katara returns to her master to plead.

19. Soul

" I Focus /i !" Pakku snaps and her jaw sets, anger rising; but Katara's bending is still unsteady and her master gives up, grumbling about useless distractions when her mind should be on the Fire Nation.

20. Picture

She is bent double on the ice, emptying her breakfast into the canal; behind her, someone has pulled her braid to the side to keep it clean, and Yugoda's low, familiar voice says something she doesn't want to hear: "Just like Kana."

21. Fool

He lectures her about shame and humility; Katara trembles with rage, her eyes on the carpet as she calmly replies - at least Zuko never had a chance to drive her away.

22. Mad

They meet miles off the Fire Nation's shore - Bumi has brought fleets of soldiers, Suki and her fellow warriors signal them with fans that flash in the sun, Pakku and Katara head the Northern Tribe's fleet, still silent weeks after the argument.

23. Child

"Stay back," are the first words he says to her, and he keeps his eyes forward, even after she glances to him; "I can't," Katara replies and Pakku doesn't argue, but as they step off the boat, he strikes first and always in front of her.

24. Now

She should have taken moon tea the second she found out; she should have taken moon tea the second they got off Appa, before she even knew, just to be safe; she should have had Aang's back as he raced for the throne room-- and she does, water ready as she follows quickly behind him.

25. Shadow

She doesn't have a chance to think - there is a pale face behind a pillar and a flash of blue and Katara only has a second to stop and let Aang go alone as the princess blocks her way with fire.

26. Goodbye

"You should be more careful," Azula croons, smirking as flame bursts from her hands, "since leather burns so easy" - "You should watch your mouth," the peasant growls, limping and smoking, but with enough spirit still to push water through in a torrent and glory in wide, gold eyes, "since fire i chokes /i so easy."

27. Hide

She is weak and there are soldiers - Katara curls into a ball behind a pillar and tries to keep her breath even, hardly noticing when her hands protectively frame her belly.

28. Fortune

Someone calls her name - Katara blinks, vision blurry as her brother races to her side, barely aware of her arm around his shoulder, or the direction that they're running.

29. Safe

The throne room is gold, alight with flame, and the man that wields it is either in shadow or too bright to focus on - it's only when the Avatar awakens, when the room is bathed in blue and the Fire Lord knows fear, that Katara sees the face of the man who destroyed her world for the first time.

30. Ghost

She passed out before it happened - going limp in Sokka's arms, she remembers blue eyes turned grey turned blue again with tears surrounding them, then a flash of light before everything went black.

31. Book

"Her best friend is dead, she got set on fire, she killed someone in cold blood, and, oh yeah, she's pregnant with some Fire bastard's spawn-- and you're asking me if I'm i sure /i she's sick?!"

32. Eye

The first thing Katara notices upon waking is her grandmother's gaze - second is leather, third is cold, and fourth is tied for the tears that spring up in her eyes and the look on Kana's face.

33. Never

She sits in a canoe with her brother, a hand on the swell of her belly while Sokka paddles; neither speak, but he knows where to go and they end up staring at an empty shell of ice that held a boy captive for a hundred years.

34. Sing

Sitting in a large circle with the rest of her tribe, Katara reflects on all the people she met in the months she knew Aang - only her people, only the Southern Water Tribe, would gather together to celebrate a new season and the growing Fire inside her, brown hands touching her stomach to bless the child within.

35. Sudden

Later, some would guess it was the stress, that it had been a miracle she hadn't lost the child in the first few weeks; for the moment, Katara really doesn't care why it's happened, only that her muscles are clenching and her leathers wet and it's two months too early.

36. Stop

"You can do it, Katara, I know you can, uh, bear down and stuff, come on, little sister, I know y--" "SHUT UP, SOKKA!"

37. Time

Twelve hours later, she is sweat-drenched and boneless amid the furs, struggling to breathe - but Katara forgets breathing entirely when she realizes the tent is silent, the bundle her grandmother holds unmoving.

38. Wash

They put him in her arms and Sokka puts a bowl beside her without being asked - her hands are coated with water and she passes it over the tiny body, eyes closing for both concentration and prayer, nearly sobbing with relief when the baby hiccups, gasps, and starts to scream.

39. Torn

They are both dead to the world for the next day - creating life is hard work for both mommy and baby, but when Katara wakes and rolls over to find olive-colored skin and pretty gold eyes staring back at her, she has to choose between cuddling her son to sleep or sobbing herself there.

40. History

The child is a mixture of Fire and Water and it takes some time for her to come up with the right name - Katara chooses Hassan for her son, for its Water Tribe origin and for the hiss in the middle that reminds her of steam.

41. Power

They are arguing - Sokka loves being the uncle too much and spoils his nephew rotten with toys and sweets from the nations he visits; Katara is yelling at him not to be so soft when Hassan grabs her skirt and exclaims, "Mama!" in a voice that makes her want to bury him in lemon drops.

42. Bother

"Mamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamama--" " i Hassan /i ."

43. God

She is mending clothes in the corner of her hut, keeping one eye on the needle, one eye on her family: Sokka has his nephew settled in his lap and is pointing to the heavens, whispering a story of love and honor, princesses and moons.

44. Wall

The tribe is small and acceptance high - the first time Hassan accompanies Katara to the shore to meet with Earth Kingdom traders is the first time he sees expressions like "betrayal" and "disgust" (it's also the first time he sees his mother waterwhip someone not related to himself.)

45. Naked

"He asked about you," is not something she wants to hear, least of all in a tone like someone had to pry the words from Sokka's lips with a crow bar - but more than that, she doesn't want to hear it because turning her head away from her brother's eyes is just as telling as the expression she hides from him.

46. Drive

"You should write to him," Kana says; "Maybe," Katara returns; her grandmother starts to say something more, but Hassan flies by on a penguin and the discussion is forgotten in lieu of laughter.

47. Harm

Kana is persistent - she's changing her great-grandson when she practically demands Katara write to the Fire prince about Hassan, but is easily silenced when her granddaughter quietly asks, "How's Grandpa Pakku these days?"

48. Precious

"Mama, look!" is commonly heard around Katara's hut, signaling a successful fishing trip, a new pet, or a completed cartwheel - Katara turns with an impressed smile already in place, only to have it replaced with a gape and a gasp as Hassan presents her with a handful of fire.

49. Hunger

The first time Katara truly considers writing to Zuko is when Hassan sits her down with his often-asked, "What's my daddy like?" questions, and her first impulse is to describe his backside.

50. Believe

This could be entirely foolish, entirely brave, or entirely compassionate - Katara isn't sure, but with Hassan snug against her hip and Sokka eyeing her worriedly from the boat, she hands him the letter she's written and re-written over a dozen times, the crown prince's name written carefully on the seal.

(Bonus!)

51. Dumb

It was her own fault, really - Hassan knew perfectly well what color his eyes were, what color his father's eyes would be, knew perfectly well that Daddy Has a Scar; he reacts accordingly, holding his arms out to the man that must be his father, while Katara stands, stunned and speechless, no more than two hours after seeing Sokka and her letter off.


	3. A Traveling Story

1. Motion

One of them should move, Katara realizes, or at least say something; but Zuko is staring at her and she's staring at him and the first one to do anything is Hassan, who stops reaching for the Fire prince and tugs on his mother's hair with a sniffle.

2. Cool

"You're upsetting him," Kana chastises and both water and firebender apologize at the same time - in the time it takes them to blink at each other, the old woman has her great-grandson in her arms and is shooing the other children from the hut, leaving them alone for the first time in four years.

3. Young

It's been so long, he knows, but she wears time well - it never occurs to Zuko that they were children four years ago, or that they still are now.

4. Last

She breaks the silence first with a puff of air that may have been a sigh, waving him over to the furs that will serve as seats and doing something surprising - signaling to him with a gesture that he should be the one to light the fire.

5. Wrong

She wonders how she ever could have thought she hated him, when Zuko looks so unsure, so hurt and bewildered in her hut; she remembers when he glances to her and asks the dumbest question she's heard in years: "Is he really mine?"

6. Gentle

"I don't know, I haven't heard back from all the other Fire Nation men I jumped into bed with four years ag--" " i Katara /i --" " i Yes, he's yours /i !"

7. One

He came here to see a girl, to see if the comfort and ease that came with her company in a pavilion was entirely made of drink - Zuko did not travel for weeks to get to the Southern Water Tribe, just to sit in a hut and listen to a story told by a guilty woman.

8. Thousand

" i Four years /i , and you never said a word!" he snaps, but he doesn't glory in her flinch - he flinches with her, miles away from the boy who tied her to a tree.

9. King

Zuko says words like 'prince' and 'heir'; Katara listens but doesn't really hear, stuck on words like 'Fire' and 'Nation.'

10. Learn

She tells him she's weary of fighting, and he's surprised to see that it's true, the Master Waterbender, the Great Katara - she suggests he go sit with the child with gold eyes and he doesn't tell her he'd rather be frozen to the wall again.

11. Blur

Katara watches from the doorway as Zuko's heavy black boots crunch in the snow; Hassan sees him coming and grins, alerting Kana - but no one alerts Zuko to the boundless adoration in his son, who leaps to his feet to greet strangers and begs to be held.

12. Wait

"An' Unca Sokka went onna boat yest'day and Mama an' me walked him there but we didn' go an' Mama brought me back an' we went fishin' an' I caught a bunch but Mama said they were too little, do you fish, Daddy, everyone here fishes, but Mama said you dunno how an' what does 'prissy' mean and how come you never vis'ted before and where's your big ship and how come you didn' make fire and wh--" " i Breathe /i ."

13. Change

Katara stands still as Zuko approaches, Hassan carried off by his great-grandmother - she looks unsure and knows it, silent when he stands before her, caught off-guard when he smiles, slow as it is to appear.

14. Command

"We'll stay, at least a week," he informs Jee before catching the gaze of amused blue eyes and adding, quiet and gruff and ignoring his lieutenant's smirk, "...if that's all right."

15. Hold

He is a guest in her hut, despite all smirks from her grandmother, and Katara tries not to stare as she packs leftovers from the night's dinner - Zuko is kneeling near Hassan's bedroll and it takes her a moment to notice the pale hand over brown hair.

16. Need

"What kind of favor?" he asks softly, but there's no ire in his tone; Katara is grateful for the warmth he offers, sitting so close to her, but keeps her eyes on her son when she speaks in a raw voice, "He can't stay here."

17. Vision

She's sitting on his left but she can't know he's completely blind in that eye now; he compensates in other ways, feeling her deflate at his side, hearing the catch in her throat when she speaks, and slides an arm around her shoulders without speaking.

18. Attention

He makes an observation that has her eyeing him in warning ("He has ears like your brother") but Zuko doesn't try to hide his smirk, nor the fondness in his tone as he looks at the bundle of blankets in the corner ("They look like open carriage doors") and grins when the punch comes.

19. Soul

They don't fall asleep together - another bedroll was brought in, but they are side-by-side, talking quietly as the fire dies down - Katara reflects on a time where only sweet wine could stop them from fighting, Zuko reflects on a time when he never would have been hopeful about bringing a Water Tribe peasant and her spawn to the palace with him.

20. Picture

Hassan takes him fishing in the morning, standing over a tiny hole with hooks on string, Kana nearby to babysit; the boy babbles excitedly about technique while Zuko frowns thoughtfully at his head - and is bright enough to stop when Kana suddenly speaks up ("His grandfather and uncle wear braids and he will, too - he's as much Water as he is Fire, prince!").

21. Fool

He describes the Fire Nation to Katara as she packs for herself and her son, watching her nod absently to everything he says - 'wife' rolls easily off the tongue, but he wishes it would roll back when she looks at him like he just slapped her grandmother... again.

22. Mad

"Are you insane?!" she demands; "We'd kill each other!" she adds; "We have a child," he protests but has no answer for her snap of, "So you think we should i marry /i ?!"

23. Child

It probably didn't hurt very much, but Hassan is young - he screams like a banshee and sends half the tribe running to his side in terror; Kana watches a pale-faced mother grab a bucket of water while a paler-faced father holds his son carefully in his arms, hardly logical while they treat a scraped knee like a knife wound.

24. Now

Hassan is bandaged and sniffling in Zuko's arms, curling into the man's chest and grabbing a fistful of dyed-red leather to bury his face in - Zuko meets worried blue eyes and hesitantly offers the arm not beneath the boy; if she won't make them a family by law, then blood will have to do.

25. Shadow

The ironclad is massive, though not as large as she remembers it; Hassan is impressed, "Ooooh"ing in her arms, large gold eyes on the ship - none of this is able to quell the unease in Katara's belly as she steps onto the plank she watched Aang walk himself years ago.

26. Goodbye

He doesn't know what to say to her - Jee has already stolen Hassan to raid the kitchens for sweets and Zuko is left to watch the Water Tribe warrior stand on the deck of his ship, trying to decide if he should address or ignore her tears.

27. Hide

She's been a single mother for years but has never actually been alone - the tribe was always there, her grandmother and her brother - it's strange for Katara to seek solace from her son and the people around her... and actually be able to find it.

28. Fortune

Peeking into the prince's room, Katara finds 'her' boys sitting cross-legged on the floor, one deep in meditative breathing exercises, the other sneaking peeks at his father and trying not to giggle.

29. Safe

"Don't worry about it," Zuko says, smirking as he stamps out the blaze of scrolls on the floor of his study, "Uncle made sure there were copies of these years ago, after Azula and I destroyed an entire library."

30. Ghost

He shouldn't have mentioned her name - Katara goes quiet and looks away and Hassan's questions on Azula are impossible to answer with Zuko's suddenly-dry throat.

31. Book

They are on deck, ignoring the sailors who have abandoned their work just to watch: Mother, Father, and Child are running through their paces, two bursts of flame to go with one torrent of water.

32. Eye

"You can't see out of that, can you?" she asks and he doesn't flinch from the question; he does give her a warning glance and Katara promises herself to think of a more tactful way to offer to heal it-- later.

33. Never

"Daddy, did you and Mommy ever train t'gether?" is a question that comes during dinner, making Zuko catch Katara's gaze and smirk as he answers with, "Sometimes."

34. Sing

Hassan is delighted with Music Night, gleefully (and surprisingly skillfully) banging on his drum; multiple requests from the men and the boy embarrass Katara into lending her voice to the song, but no amount of prodding can get Zuko to retrieve his flute.

35. Sudden

He doesn't expect the kiss to his cheek outside his bedroom anymore than he expects her thanks - then again, Katara doesn't expect him to lean in and kiss her lips, nor the retort four years in the making of, "Now we're even."

36. Stop

Blinking led to smirking, led to quiet laughter, led to the realization that neither of them had backed away, led to another kiss and then another-- an officer walks by, making his rounds of the halls, and they spring apart like naughty children caught with hands in a cookie jar.

37. Time

She'd forgotten just how red a pale face could get and has trouble not giggling again; they look at each other with secret smiles, but she can see his disappointment when she backs away with a quiet, "Goodnight" - she has to get back to her son.

38. Wash

"Hassan!" is snapped in the morning, finding the boy in the kitchens with sugar surrounding his mouth; "Zuko!" is snapped a moment later, finding him holding the plate with the leftovers of last night's sweet fry bread.

39. Torn

"But it's good!" he protests; "Not for breakfast!" is her reply; they argue back and forth, and, while they're occupied, Hassan finishes the bread.

40. History

Hassan is too young to read by himself, Zuko too busy to repeat the thousands of stories Iroh told him from his youth; he pulls his son onto his lap and spreads the scroll for both of them to look at, the Fire prince reading the description of The Battle of Avatar Roku at Nanchiang in as many funny voices as he can.

41. Power

She practices on the deck while Zuko watches Hassan; the men are hesitant to approach her, but when she gets exasperated enough to ask why they gawk at her, Katara finds herself trading technique with a group of Firebenders.

42. Bother

They're only a few days from shore now, standing in the bridge and watching the land approach; Katara idly mentions that Sokka will be waiting for them there; Zuko startles, blinking at her with sudden suspicion and asks if Sokka knows about Hassan - she's aware he's thinking of the last few years of companionship with her brother, but can't stop the look she gives him or the way she pats his cheek and adds, "It's a good thing you're handsome."

43. God

He is trying to teach Hassan to meditate but it's difficult; though his room is sparse, the boy always finds some object or another to start a discussion on and distract them both - Zuko finds himself sighing as his son picks the piece off the wall, quietly describing the importance of a blue and white mask and the dao swords that accompany it.

44. Wall

Katara came in at the middle of the story, listened silently but with wide, startled eyes - Zuko waits until Hassan has rushed from his room to clean up for dinner before approaching her, meeting her startled eyes with his resigned ones.

45. Naked

"You never-- but he talked about you, said the Blue Spirit was-- that he'd helped him once t--" "I was and I did, Katara, but-- what I did that night doesn't change what I did on every other."

46. Drive

They'll reach the Fire Nation by the morning - Katara is holding onto her son as he stands on the railing, laughing with the wind and spray in his face; she knows Zuko stands behind her and blames the hand that settles at the small of her back on the lurch of the ironclad-- and doesn't protest when it stays.

47. Harm

"Is your brother going to murder me?" he asks quietly from the doorway as Hassan is tucked in; Katara chuckles softly as she stands, reaches out and carefully links her fingers with his, "No, but I might be in trouble."

48. Precious

He drops his gaze to their joined hands and she wonders if she should let go; he hands her one of the leather strips she used to wear to hold her braid in place, smirking when she looks up at him in shocked recognition.

49. Hunger

Zuko finds a certain irony in it - he is kissing her, sober and fully conscious of his actions, his hands on her hips and hers at his shoulders, mouths wet and fully willing-- but again, it is his i son /i that makes them stop, stirring in his sleep and distracting both parents from more carnal pleasures.

50. Believe

"What's it going to be like?" she asks him quietly in the light of the morning, the palace glittering in the sunlight as the ironclad docks - he glances to her, at the apprehension and unease in her stance and smiles slightly, his hand at her back, "Better than you think."

(Bonus!) 51. Oops

She was expecting this - walking down the plank to the dock, the Fire Lord himself is there to greet them-- as well as her brother, whose irritation is only eased by the armful of nephew that leaps to great him with a cry of, "Unca Sokka!" while the other pair of uncle and nephew greet each other with bows and smug smiles.


End file.
